As we climbed into bed last night, relishing the warm duvet against our cold skin I turned to he who helped create them and said 'shall we do nothing tomorrow, have a rest day, maybe not even get dressed?' Half asleep already he turned and replied 'yes' and then wandered off to dreamland. … [Read more...]
Nov 21, 2011
You changed….
By · 33 Comments
You've changed... You used to be reliable, I knew you would come and there you were, bang on seven o clock every single night of the week. You would arrive and calm would descend upon the madness of my home. Silence would fill the space where children had been seen to battle and the soft scent of peace and quiet would dance round the lounge. … [Read more...]
Nov 17, 2011
a thud, wail, squeal and a pinch….
By · 19 Comments
Daybreak murkily starts to edge its way into the room, tendrils of fog tap at the window telling me morning has begun. For a moment I lay silent in my bed, the duvet up near my chin pinning me down encouraging me to ignore the signs that I need to get up and start the days. Beside me BB lays eyes half open finishing the last of her milk.... And then it begins.... A thud as twin boy hits the … [Read more...]
Oct 4, 2011
Gina Ford: Payback is a bitch….
By · 45 Comments
For years I was known locally as the sleep guru, I was the irratating fresh faced mother of twins who had them sleeping through at nine weeks. Whilst other first time parents looked like they had done a super shop at Tescos in order to fill the bags under their eyes I had a sleep regime in place at home that Gina Ford would envy. … [Read more...]
Sep 22, 2011
why I refuse to educate my kids…
By · 32 Comments
6.06: the soft cries of mama mama from BB's cot transcend into loud wails of hunger. I struggle from the soft comfort of my duvet and stumble blindly into her room to see her stood inside the cot arms outstretched lips already pouting for a kiss. Whispering morning into her fair, warm hair we silently tip toe back to my room taking care not to wake any more small or hairy people in the home. … [Read more...]
Jul 2, 2011
living with Mary feckin Poppins
By · 42 Comments
The chap I married is not a morning person. He takes exception every morning to having a five year old creeping into his room between five and seven and asking in a booming voice, "Is it waking up time yet?" He typically does a strong impression of a corpse at this point in order to not have to deal with said child. I can physically feel his body freeze into rigor mortis as the door handle … [Read more...]
Jun 19, 2011
Parenting: I look like Death……
By · 22 Comments
My home looks like it was ransacked by aliens, my skin is pale, the laundry basket is neglected and is shouting its annoyance by allowing underpants and uniforms to spill out under the lid and thus mocking my incompetence. Last nights dishes are still piled in the sink growing a soft covering of fur on the remains of that evenings ready meal. The baby is sporting the heavy nappy look as I … [Read more...]
May 24, 2011
I Will Exact My Revenge
By · 10 Comments
Sleep is something most parents have a love hate relationship with. We would all love more of it and hate having it disturbed. When your bundle of joy comes along you accept that your hours laid in a soft, comfy bed under a cosy duvet will be less than before and this is a sacrifice you are willing to make in return for a beautiful baby all of your own. However most of us see loss of sleep as a … [Read more...]
Apr 7, 2011
BB gets a bed guard
By · 20 Comments
When you have children you give up hope of having a stylish home and instead you are forced to move all ornaments above little head height after a reluctance acceptance that the word ‘no’ falls on deaf ears for the first twelve years. Your kitchen gets overtaken by strange sterilizing cylinders which seem to serve the same purpose as a dishwasher but you must have both; your doors get … [Read more...]
Mar 27, 2011
fancy a threesome?
By · 13 Comments
Sleep, I love sleep. I also love bed so I am always up for a threesome with sleep and bed together. Today I am trying to cover up the fact that far too many people slept with bed last night and sleep buggered off and left me in the middle of the night. I have bags under my eyes that you could pack for a fortnight's holiday in. My nerves are on edge as I think of ways I can try and win back … [Read more...]
