Supermum doesn’t live here anymore

I was awake at 1.30am this morning, now I have a 16 week old baby so I imagine people think that is pretty normal. However what would you think if I told you that I hadn’t even gone to bed at that time, and that I was actually not in my PJ’s until 2am? I know what you are thinking – dirty little stop out! Going to regret that last glass of wine in the morning!

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Making new friends (and losing them)

New schools are terrifying, lots of new people stood about in established groups, rituals and greetings established. Most have obviously grown up in pre schools and nurseries together and share a history that we have not been part of. However twin boy, twin girl and I have tried to fit in. To be honest the twins are doing a lot better than me. Twin boy has befriended a boy who can produce a competitive amount of green stuff from his nose, so they are clearly friends for life; he also has a trusted circle of pirates that he can turn to for new hints on how to cause significant pain with daggers made of foam and swords made of plastic. Twin girl has found herself chair of the school mothers union, they meet every playtime to look after their silent babies, exchange head lice and discuss the latest going ons in Scooby Doo.

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Mummy, will you always wee yourself now?

Since beautiful baby has arrived she has managed to achieve quite a lot. She has completely ruined my figure, (clearly it was she who had a craving for pizza not me) she has managed to get me to expose my breasts to the postman, the milkman, and very nearly my father-in-law. She has also managed to reduce me (a cynical, sarcastic almost middle aged woman) to an over enthusiastic, baby gurgling, obsessed mummy. Seriously if you come within 50 yards of the house I will entice you into the front room and insist that you spend hours looking at the 500 photos we have taken so far and then force you to stare at her whilst contorting your features into various expressions in order to make her smile, I will also force you to endure listening to me talking in baby speak and my personal favourite talking through the baby to you; i.e. ‘so does mummy’s friend want a cuddle, does she, oh yes she does.’

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Why I am one red hot sexy momma

I thought I had had a bit of a result today before my daughter kindly corrected me. I went out with two girlfriends yesterday and I used my spade in the morning to put on makeup in order to try and hide how completely knackered I look after spending the last 5 months at home with twin boy and girl and beautiful baby. However when I returned home slightly tipsy (understatement) clutching my shoes in one hand and breast pump in the other I managed to fall into my bed immediately completely forgetting to go via the bathroom to try and remove ‘excess slap’ from my face. The end result being that this morning I woke up late but already had full make up on. Albeit I had to rub away a few smudges of mascara here and there but all in all I was looking hot to trot for the school run.

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Who needs an alarm clock when…~ Northernmum

I remember when we decided to have a baby, the batteries on the alarm clock had ran out and rather than buying some new ones, myself and he who helped create them thought it would be make good financial sense to have a baby which would guarantee we would never sleep past 7am again (ever).

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