What doesn’t kill you makes you…..

What doesn’t kill you makes you…..

What a weekend.

It was a weekend of epic proportions, one where every second was accounted for; disasters happened, amazing things occurred and I ended up with two black eyes and a busted nose….

It was always going to be a manic weekend, which is pretty much normal in this house.

Saturday I was competing in a CrossFit competition with my best friend, Mel.  Then the plan was to drive home, throw myself into Mumdom, and host a birthday sleepover for my second born twin.  Sunday was to be a continuation of the party, a birthday lunch and an evening spent slobbing.

Oh, the best laid plans…..

But let me tell you about the competition.

Christ it was awesome.

It was an all ages competition, which meant, me and the wife stood in a crowd of women who still had yet to experience the drooping of a bosom, the loss of control of a pelvic floor, and wrinkles that cannot be concealed.

9am on Saturday morning I felt really chuffing old.

But the pair of us have worked hard in the last few months, our diet has been good, our training consistent.  For a pair of oldies post Christmas we were in pretty good shape.  The nutrition plan I have been following meant I felt good, and the removal of alcohol meant my insides were bathed in water, rather than gin….

We were up against some fab athletes.  Lovely women who we chatted to, cheered on, and befriended with ease.  The workouts were hard, challenging, with far too many burpees for my liking.

what doesnt kill you makes you stronger

But somehow we won it.

In fact we won every workout barr one.

I even completed a workout with blood dripping down my face after clumsily dropping a barbell onto the brow of my nose – giving my teammate a good giggle….

We went into every workout planning to give it our very best, but certain we wouldn’t win.

We really surprised ourselves.

The final workout of the day was brutal.  If you are lucky enough in your world to not know what an assault bike it – keep it that way.  Between us in the final, we endured 5 minutes of sheer hell, pedaling our way to glory, quietly dying inside.  The pain was only quiet because it was near on impossible to breathe.  The anguish in my legs was all-consuming, by the look on Mel’s face, our quads were in synchro agony.

The end saw us writhing on the floor trying to release acid from our legs.  We needed assistance to leave the floor.

But we won, so it was worth it.  Plus, we shared the podium with two teams that we had spoken to throughout the day, both pairs of women were gorgeous, fantastic competitors, and grand people.  You really do meet the best people at CrossFit competitions!

The whole day was amazing, M Squared in Manchester put on a fantastic competition; restored my confidence that sometimes I am ok at this CrossFit old person m’larkey – I cannot wait for the next one!

(even with two black eyes and a busted nose!)

The real success was that we made it home for the sleepover funfest.

I crawled into my home, slightly broken, very tired, and was instantly surrounded by 8 children who were my polar opposite.

It was like they had been snorting sugar.

Even the dog sought refuge from the mayhem.

Between the hours of seven pm and midnight I was an unwilling referee to a water fight, a pizza waitress, a bringer of many drinks, a volume controller, a definite parter pooper, until eventually I gave up and crashed on the sofa.

Kids need to learn to appreciate sleep.

The morning came eventually, and the house was still standing – it looked like a hurricane had ripped through the heart of the home, spraying marshmellows and popcorn in its wake, but it was still standing.

The unexpected joy as I crawled out of my pit to face the eight hungry mouths was I stumbled into a pile of dog vomit.

Nothing says “morning” like cold regurgitated pedigree chum….

The dog has vomited all day.


I had one wish for 2018…

For it to be surgery free for anyone living in my home.

14 days in, that goal was also smashed – into smithereens as the dog went in her second operation in two months, to remove yet another sodding stone from her gut.

I just got the call that she has made it through surgery….

This weekend has been epic, it hasn’t killed me, so it must have made me stronger!!!

Can I also highlight  – in my quest to make 2018 a dry year – I have neither had a drink to ‘celebrate’ the win, nor a drink to ‘survive’ the party, nor a drink to ‘calm’ myself about my lovely mutt.

It hasn’t been easy…. Becks Blu has been consumed in bulk…

But I did it!

Lets see what the week can throw at me now!






  1. January 15, 2018 / 11:04 am

    Just another weekend Chez Jane then?! May have snorted at the weight on the nose, sorry – I am seriously full of admiration for your Cross Fit journey!

  2. Rachel
    January 17, 2018 / 9:38 pm

    Thanks for the Instagram follow, and your kind words! We were delighted that you two won it. Well deserved. Given the age range of the competitors there was a very good representation of us Masters athletes on the podium! Hope to see you at another comp in the future. Rachel

    • northernmum
      January 17, 2018 / 10:08 pm


  3. Rachel
    January 17, 2018 / 9:44 pm

    I actually love you.
    Couldn’t have lost to a better team.
    If I’m like you at 45 I will be BUZZING
    (And glad your dog is ok!)

    • northernmum
      January 17, 2018 / 10:07 pm

      🙂 I feel it is my duty to point out I am the baby of the pair – I am only 40, the one with the biceps and the beautiful clean is the OAP!!!!! Fab to meet you xxx

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