Homework Hell: Why I am not writing about my tooth tonight….

Homework Hell: Why I am not writing about my tooth tonight….

Tonight I was meant to write a witty post about the loss of a tooth.

Yes, finally the dentist saga has come to an end and the offender was removed after committing suicide in my mouth.  It has been a traumatic few months, that has left me with a hole the size of Wales in my gob.

But, that is another story – not to be told today.

Because this evening has been dominated by homework.

More frigging homework.

Since the twins started secondary, homework has become the bane of our lives.

Tonight, it was English – they had to write a poem about our Great British Culture.

Have you ever tried to help anyone write a poem?

It is a bit of a do or don’t situation; it is nigh on impossible to assist with the creative process that is poetry writing,


So instead I wrote my own.


The Hell of Homework

I want my children to learn, so I sent them to school.

School was not daft, and was not to be taken for a fool.

School said, “We will do our bit between nine and three,

But after that Ms Pettit, it is over to thee.”

“We will sent them home, knackered and starving.”

Because school dinners have not improved,  they are always Hank Marving.

“Then once you have knocked out a meal for four, done the washing and cleaned the kitchen floor,

You can then help them with homework, we will keep sending more and more.”

“To make it more fun, we have changed how we grade,

So the Maths you had to Google, or the woodwork you made…

You’ll never know if it was classed as good,

Because our scoring system is now as clear as mud.”

School continued, “we firmly believe the kids should be supported at home,

Even if that mean searching the answers on their mobile phone.

Homework is a great way to spend time with your kid,

Valium is available on prescription if you feel like flipping your lid.”

Bedtime has become a thing of the past,

Where they were once first to bed, they are now commonly last.

I have to pour myself a drink and go find a bed in which to lay,

Because helping with homework makes me want to put my own children on eBay.

Luckily for us, we only have about a decade more of this.

By the end of which I may finally have earnt the title of Miss.

My alcohol consumption may go through the roof,

The stress may cause me to lose another tooth.

It is over for tonight, I have put them to bed.

I have only a few moments before I go lay down, my own weary head.

I miss the days of when homework, was reading a good book.

This secondary school stuff, well it is as hard as ……



You are welcome!

I feel better for sharing.











  1. October 16, 2017 / 9:36 am

    hahahahaha great poem, full marks to you! Sounds like hell though and my daughter is only in Y2 and I’m already google-ing the maths!

  2. October 16, 2017 / 10:02 am

    I love the Poem, memories of having to swot up on my daughter’s homework and now she is doing the same with her children.

  3. October 16, 2017 / 1:56 pm

    Genius! Do what I do – don’t help at all, if they get rubbish marks they can use it as an incentive to improve

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