I consider myself lucky, I have not one child just going into the early stages of puberty but two.
Both genders in my twin couplet are in the pre-teens category, so I get to experience all the emotions and changes.
Lucky, lucky me.
Because there is so much in this world that I wouldn’t know if I didn’t share a house with preteens.
What I wouldn’t know
Yelling I love you at the school gates as they walk into class is the MOST embarrassing thing you can do to your child.
Not cuddling your child on the sofa when you are alone means you clearly don’t care.
The 15 age certificate on a movie means it is totally appropriate for 11 year olds.
Mentioning that your children once grew in your womb is grosser than mangy vegetables.
The time for conversations and updates about a pre teens life is strictly reserved for the hour after you have insisted they go to bed.
Boys don’t need to know about girls hormonal changes.
Girls think boys hormonal changes are hilarious.
Phones are not for calling or texting anyone you are related to.
Liking an offsprings instagram photo is awesome, commenting on it may cause them to look to put themselves up for adoption.
Having a parent who blogs and reviews holidays is amazing.
Appearing in photos on said reviews is completely unacceptable.
I would also be clueless about the following…
Board games are boring.
Family time is overrated (unless it is past bedtime.)
Every other eleven year old in the world has Snapchat.
Pre teens are not the result of sex between their parents, they were all immaculately conceived and brought into the world knowing everything, aged 11.
School discos are not for dancing, they are for standing.
Chocolate is a pudding and a snack.
Laces on shoes should be fastened at all times, and shoes should only be put on by bending the heels and ramming in one’s feet.
All clothes are dirty after one wear.
That wearing ripped jeans is something no woman over 35 should do.
That I have facial hair.
That my legs are spiky.
That I drink too much.
That I am way stricter that any other parent, ever.
That bike helmets don’t really achieve anything but bad hair.
That I do not understand what it is like to be a pre teen.
They got one thing right!
Anyone else been taught life lessons from their more knowledgable than God children