Things I wouldn’t know if I wasn’t a parent to pre-teens

Things I wouldn’t know if I wasn’t a parent to pre-teens

I consider myself lucky, I have not one child just going into the early stages of puberty but two.

Both genders in my twin couplet are in the pre-teens category, so I get to experience all the emotions and changes.

Lucky, lucky me.

Because there is so much in this world that I wouldn’t know if I didn’t share a house with preteens.

What I wouldn’t know

Yelling I love you at the school gates as they walk into class is the MOST embarrassing thing you can do to your child.

Not cuddling your child on the sofa when you are alone means you clearly don’t care.

The 15 age certificate on a movie means it is totally appropriate for 11 year olds.

Mentioning that your children once grew in your womb is grosser than mangy vegetables.

The time for conversations and updates about a pre teens life is strictly reserved for the hour after you have insisted they go to bed.

Boys don’t need to know about girls hormonal changes.

Girls think boys hormonal changes are hilarious.

Phones are not for calling or texting anyone you are related to.

Liking an offsprings instagram photo is awesome, commenting on it may cause them to look to put themselves up for adoption.

Having a parent who blogs and reviews holidays is amazing.

Appearing in photos on said reviews is completely unacceptable.


I would also be clueless about the following…

Board games are boring.

Family time is overrated (unless it is past bedtime.)

Every other eleven year old in the world has Snapchat.

Pre teens are not the result of sex between their parents, they were all immaculately conceived and brought into the world knowing everything, aged 11.

School discos are not for dancing, they are for standing.

Chocolate is a pudding and a snack.

Laces on shoes should be fastened at all times, and shoes should only be put on by bending the heels and ramming in one’s feet.

All clothes are dirty after one wear.

That wearing ripped jeans is something no woman over 35 should do.

That I have facial hair.

That my legs are spiky.

That I drink too much.

That I am way stricter that any other parent, ever.

That bike helmets don’t really achieve anything but bad hair.

and finally….

That I do not understand what it is like to be a pre teen.

They got one thing right!


Anyone else been taught life lessons from their more knowledgable than God children


Image courtsey of Shutterstock




  1. June 22, 2017 / 7:38 pm

    You had me smiling all the way through on this one Jane. My twins are 9 going on 29 and I am so uncool it is unbelievably embarrassing but hey ho, I get by and I do get the cuddles when I am allowed.

  2. June 22, 2017 / 7:48 pm

    I’m just reading thinking this is all going to be here too soon!

  3. June 22, 2017 / 8:09 pm

    hehehe! This made me chuckle. I have a 14 and 9 year old who know everything….My 9 year old still thinks I’m cool though. My teen not so much x

  4. June 22, 2017 / 11:12 pm

    Yep, this is our house too. Although Mini never fastens his shoe laces! School discos are not for attending. Neither boys have a volume control, one of them “hates his life”, my washing pile is always huge, they both are soap dodgers and it is like they have turned into Kevin and Perry overnight!

    • northernmum
      June 23, 2017 / 11:57 am

      We fasten the laces, then use the shoes like slippers….. ugh

  5. June 23, 2017 / 10:13 am

    My son was 12 two weeks ago. I could have written this post.

  6. June 23, 2017 / 10:14 am

    My son turned 12 two weeks ago. I could have written this post. Verbatim.

    • northernmum
      June 23, 2017 / 11:56 am

      fun isnt it! 🙂

  7. June 23, 2017 / 11:10 am

    My oldest is 18, my youngest is 10. Consider the entire next ten years a total learning curve the likes of which you have never prepared for. Oh how you’ll yearn for the simple parenting days of toddlers and the sleep/eat wars…

    • northernmum
      June 23, 2017 / 11:56 am

      this does not make me happy!!!!

  8. June 24, 2017 / 8:39 am

    Yes, yes and yes to all of these! I have an 11yo girl, plus a 13yo boy and a nearly 16yo boy.
    Don’t forget that sometimes clothes are dirty before they’ve even been worn if you accidentally pull them out of the drawer and can’t be bothered to put them back!

    • northernmum
      June 24, 2017 / 11:29 am

      hear that sister!

  9. June 27, 2017 / 11:33 am

    Love the shoe one, that drives me crazy!!! How did our kids get this old exactly????

  10. June 29, 2017 / 6:55 pm

    This is hilarious and so true, the things we all have to look forward to with our children!!

    The ‘every other 11yr old has snapchat’ is also very poignant at the moment, how young is too young is something we hear parents talking about a lot!

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