The underwire from my bra died at the gym this week. It literally got halfway through a workout and smashed through the shock absorbent material and attempted to penetrate my chin.
It wasn’t a great moment.
Bra’s are pretty important for me when at gym, well, anytime really, but at the gym they mean safety for myself from two black eyes and a couple of bruised knees.
It was touch and go as to whether I could carry on with the work out, but then a fellow gym buddy recommended I just remove the wire and see how that worked out.
Like any larger breasted woman, I was wearing a couple of over the shoulder boulder holders, so actually, barr a slight sag to the right, the bra still managed to restrain the puppies and the workout could continue.
After a quiet gasp from several woman that the piece of underwiring I had in my hand was larger than most of their heads.
In fact for most it could have worked as an oversized necklace against a nice black top.
It is going to cost me £50 to replace that bra. £55 if not one buys the lovely wire necklace I just put on eBay.
Because if you are reading this with boobs under a D cup, then you don’t realise some of the traumas we ladies with larger love cups have to face….
10 problems of the bigger breasted babe.
Image courtsey of Shutterstock (breasts not my own!)
- Bra’s are fecking expensive when you hit the bigger cup sizes….
We are not talking M&S here, once you hit a certain cup size you enter the world of specialist shops and they all come with a price tags that suggests you have bought enough cloth to quilt over India. Other women I train with have numerous sports bras. I have two, they are washed out nightly and until I notice my breasts precariously near my brows when skipping I aim not to replace them.
2. You can never run for a train
Or a bus, or away from a monster, unless you spend every waking minute in a sports bra.
A normal bra just about works on a day-to-day basis, running in one causes them to fly out sideways, knocking over small children and smashing into lampposts.
It is better to be late or to confront the monster.
3. Babies look at you like you are a five-star restaurant.
4. You can lose food
Drop a few peas as you are eating and expect to see them hit the floor later when the bra is removed.
5. You have to have shares in safety pins
No shirt is safe without one
6. When gravity takes hold, the wrapping is better than the gift.
Yup, big boobs can look great in a bra. But after breast-feeding, getting older, one finds that what looks amazeballs in lace can disappoint when they literally hit the deck once they are freed for the night.
7. Other people take the pencil test
You can carry your kids pencil-case to school under one and their lunch box under the other.
8. Shoulder strap bags…
Make you literally look like you are being cut in two.
9. Washing the dishes has to have a safety distance imposed
Unless you want the wet nipple look all day.
10. Breastfeeding terrifies you – they get bigger….
I kid you not, when I had twins, my bras came in one colour, and had to be imported. See point one – big boobs can be costly – and I am not talking about implants!