You know it is going to be one of those days when it starts with your six year old coming into your room and asking…
“Mummy, why are they fighting each other in Syria?”
No caffeine inside me and I was suddenly stuttering my way through one of the most complex civil wars in history.
Fair to say, I don’t think I did it justice.
I always said that as a parent I wouldn’t lie to the kids, if they asked something I would try to be as honest as possible.
(and yes, Santa is real – as is the Tooth Fairy…)
However I never factored in world politics as a topic to broach so young.
The theme of questioning continued through the day.
It was one of my many frequent trips to hospital, and walking down the long green corridors, my eldest girl of ten suddenly piped up…
“What is a sexual health clinic?”
Still hadn’t had coffee.
Oh, how I stumbled through that one.
We are open about sex, we call a penis a penis, a vagina, a vagina – sometimes shortened to gina owning to mispronunciation when the kids were little. But sexual health was a topic not yet broached.
I should have lied.
Explaining condoms and safe sex to a ten-year old is like trying to tell a toddler no.
“but, why mummy?”
Jesus the questions.
Then the giggles.
“A condom is like a hat for penis’s? Are they woolly?” Que – hysterics – from both parties.
“Gone – er – what?” Shouldn’t have even started that one.
“Do men wear them all the time, in case they have sex…”
Then finally. a result.
“It sounds so complicated, with pills and balloons on penis’s, I think I’ll just not bother.”
However, I was still glad when the conversation started to mute.
Then the boy piped up…
“So why did America vote Trump in, when you said he was such a fecking waste of space Mummy?”
It must be time for gin?