The one about the post holiday workout

It has been an epic summer, we have holidayed in France and Cornwall, drank Rose by moonlight, scoffed down Camembert and mussels, followed by fish and chips.

It has been a summer of smiles and memories.

But holy cow, it has been hell on the waistline.

(And to be honest the waistline wasn’t faring too well before.)

Now it is time to get back on it.

This morning, I went back to the box….

(For non CrossFitters amongst you – this means back to the gym.)

Am not going to lie, I wasn’t looking forward to it.

At all.

It started so well…..

We started the workout with a bit of strength.  As my trainer likes to comment when watching my tum wobble, mass moves mass.  Turns out that Camembert, plus fish and chips, equals a personal best lift!

Happy days….

But then the workout….

Dear lord the workout….

It was never going to be fun…

Image courtsey of Shutterstock

Let me describe my first morning back at the gym.

In my head I hoped for a lovely kettlebell workout, nice and light, with maybe a few airsquats in between.

I didn’t get my wish…

Instead, when I arrived I was rewarded with this recipe for disaster…

My stomach instantly started regurgitating every cream tea, every glass of wine.

My body thought I was joking as I climbed into the rower.

The rower felt like I was rowing through mud, 30 calories, not even a third of a glass of Prosecco, it took forever.  My right arm almost swore at me in confusion, its only exercise of late has been to lift either a cup of tea or a glass of vino.  It excels at both of those, rowing is a whole different matter.

Once my arms were suitably shagged, I stumbled off to the floor to find a spot to attempt 40 press ups.

The whole world and it’s dog is doing the 22 press up challenge at the moment.

It is one I have chosen to avoid.  Not because the charity isn’t a worthy one that I back completely,  But more because my press ups looks like Shamu trying to unbeach herself, unsuccessfully.  I don’t need that sharing on social media, my future millionaire spouse may see….

40 press ups was not a pretty sight.

Have you ever seen the 1986 classic, The Fly?  The one where the fella turns from a rather mediocre looking human into a rather disgusting mammoth fly?

If not, in short, as the transistion occurs, his elbows rip out and long fly like tendrils appear in their place.

My press ups felt like that – without any tendrils appearing.

Tendrils could have been helpful.

40 press ups took a long old time.  It was all I could do to breathe, I think I grunted. I got cramp in my leg.

How bad do you have to be at press ups to get cramp in your leg?

The lunges….

20 Front rack lunges, with 35kg on the bar.

Some little so and so must have sneaked in and added an additional 100kg onto my bar, because when I lifted it to my shoulders I felt like I was carrying the weight of the world.  Then I was expected to lunge with it…

Imagine Mr Blobby with an Olympic weightlifting bar across his blubbery neckline, then you have a perfect visual of my lunges, add in a noise that sounds like a cow in labour and you can probably hear me.

Lordy it was horrific…

Then the pull-ups….

Lets not forget the pull-ups.

Perhaps if everytime I popped a chip in my mouth, or snacked on some chocolate on holiday, someone had reminded me I needed to lift my own body weight over a pull up bar, I may have resisted on occasion.

Instead today was more like pulling on my lead boots and hoping sheer determination would get my chin over the bar.

I think my determination stayed in Cornwall with the cream teas.

I don’t blame it.

10 pull ups took the same amount of time it took me to birth twins (approximately).

Round one complete…..

I am sure you don’t need me to describe the next rounds.  In short, they were the same, but with more grunting, more sweating, and more regret about Ice Cream and all things nice.

The purpose of this post?

It is always good to share pain and misery, but most importantly – perhaps if I write it down I won’t neglect my beloved CrossFit so much next summer.

Today was enough of a shock to the system to ensure I planned some goals for fitness until the end of the year…

Want to see?

That question was rhetorical….

It’s time to get working….

2017 strong body – here I come!

If you want to get fit and change your diet, ‘Voucherbox.co.uk has collated five healthy foods that will actually save you money, and if you want even more money off your online shop have a look at their Sainsbury’s vouchers.

 

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