When I started at Crossfit my inbox literally exploded. I was flooded with articles about what part of my body I could injure first. To the extent that when I finished my first week as a Crossfitter I was mildly disappointed to have all my limbs intact.
Like most things, I read all the articles, recongised I was going to be throwing heavy weights around, realised I needed to listen to my coach (rather than my foolhardy ambitious nature).
And then I paid my membership fee.
So far, no real injuries. Except a bad case of burpee knees, but every girl dreams of brown and green bruises, don’t they?
My coaches are fantastic and I feel completely safe when training.
Then today happened…
The WOD (workout of the day) looked ok, and the warm up relatively simple.
I gave myself a mental pat on the back for actually being able to interprete the words on the board.
(Twenty minutes later I was to regret ever thinking the warm up was simple…)
One minute of 20 mat sit ups.
One minute to do a 20 second hollow rock.
Repeated until eight minutes were up.
If you don’t know what they are, a mat sit up is a full sit up with a small mat under the arch of your back, a hollow rock is belly presses to the floor holding your arms and legs up in a C like shape.
It was a small class, and before we started I was bemused to see my coach (let’s call her Sandra) run off in hunt of Vaseline. Quickly followed by the other girl in the class (let’s call her Candy).
They exchanged worried glances, apparently Vaseline was absent in the box this morning.
“Oh I have lip balm” cried Sandra, and scooping a little out I watched in wonder as she discreetly applied some to her lower back. Candy scooped a fingerful and nipped into the changing room to apply a bit of balm to her backside.
Clueless, but intrigued I joined the barmy bottom balming and popped a bit on the top of my bum, just around my spine.
A curious tingle spread across my lower back and I wondered if this would improve my performance.
Then we began.
Eight minutes, so 80 sit ups…
Jesus H Christ.
The top of my rump tingled pleasantly. Whereas the bottom of my behind started to scream with a soreness I had never felt before. I finished the first 20 and wriggled my ass trying to find a bit of peace. To an onlooker it may have looked like I was battling piles.
During the hollow the pain ebbed away, then the second set of sit ups started and it felt like a sword was scratching my sweetbox.
By the time 80 sit ups were done my backside felt literally bare to the bone in comparison to the balmed area which felt nice and tingly.
It was like heaven and hell were having a party in my pants.
Further examination at home revealed blood in my bloomers.
I had been savaged by a sit up.
Never will I sit up without creaming up again.
Lesson learnt – play closer attention to where Sandra and Candy apply their lip balm in future.