Thing you can learn whilst running

Thing you can learn whilst running

I ran today, outside, in the rain.  I feel that we know each too well now for me to lie to you, so I will share the truth.  I found running fecking awful, my calves were tighter than a ducks bottom under water, and the arches in my feet felt like knives were stabbing into them every time they hit the pavement.  I have had more fun at a party for sixty kids in a soft play area where I was the host, and that is saying something.

I tried to motivate myself, I ran a huge 1.5 miles and assumed a fake grin and told myself, ‘well, Jane, you have run 1/26 of the marathon distance, if that were cake eating and you had just taught yourself to eat 1/26 of a cake, I reckon you could learn to eat the rest quickly.’

I annoyed myself so much with such a ridiculous motivational comment that I ran into a lamppost on purpose.

But whilst the training was agony; I can now tick a box on a my training schedule and I also had the added benefits of learning a few lessons whilst I ran.

The first was a simple one, a t-shirt that I wore to run in two years ago, is not necessarily the best choice of outfit for this years’ training.  Mainly because owing to copious cake eating, I am a little larger.  The top that felt snug in the home, assumed a look of a Cabbage Patch kid trying to run in Barbie’s aerobic gear when out on the street.

The second lesson was linked to the first, don’t run at lunchtime past a secondary school in a t-shirt that makes you look like a Cabbage Patch kid trying to run in Barbie’s aerobic gear, teenage boys are cruel, but my, teenage girls can be crueller.

The third, well, the third still links to the first, I learnt that the chap with the beautiful black labrador that I ran past, was not smiling at my superb efforts to run, but in fact he was cracking up at the fact that my too small top had ridden up to my chest exposing a milky white tummy complete with stretch marks.  Try telling yourself those marks are simply a road map that leads to children when the local dog walker in the village has just seen them in full glory.

The fourth lesson was, nothing kills your pace than an iPod on shuffle ,when Postman Pat suddenly booms into your inner ear.  Likewise listening to Eminen whilst pounding the streets makes you inexplicably angry.

The fifth – well it was one we knew all along really, don’t sign up to marathon when you can even run a mile, it is a really dumb idea.

To find out more why I am trying to run 26 miles in 21 weeks have a read here and please donate if you can.

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15 Comments

  1. Kerry
    November 11, 2013 / 2:24 pm

    pftt ! ha ha ! I hear you loud and clear. My chuffing running tops seem to have shrunk, not a good feeling when you are out running. It takes me all my effort to run, so trying to run/pull down too short t-shirt throws my efforts to keep moving forward right out. Oh dear, Postman pat ? It will get better. Treat yourself to a new t-shirt and keep going xx

  2. Alison
    November 11, 2013 / 2:53 pm

    Hang on a minute…you ran 1.5 miles outside in the rain?!? That my friend is blooming amazing and you deserve a huge pat on the back and a big glass of wine!!! Well done, lady !

    The rest of it made me chuckle… 🙂

  3. November 11, 2013 / 8:51 pm

    Oh, this made me laugh out loud so much! I love running but I’m dead slow and I know the highs and lows so well. To be honest, listening to Eminem doing anything would make you angry!

  4. November 11, 2013 / 9:46 pm

    Wish I had the guts to run! There really are lots you can learn from running, I find when Postman Pat is blaring out in the car by mistake during the summer is a real game changer too!

  5. November 12, 2013 / 8:53 am

    Ha! I did a proper laugh out loud at my desk there with the Postman Pat bit – brilliant!

    I can run for a train and that’s about it – you’re doing so bloody brilliantly! (and I’m going to sponsor you, payday is Friday so remind me!!!)

  6. November 12, 2013 / 11:22 am

    I wish I could still run, I love it so much but my knees say no more – there see, it’s not really good for you! I hope you do really well in your marathon, but a little bit of me wants you to suffer in your training just because I love reading the posts that produces, makes me laugh out loud every time!

  7. November 13, 2013 / 1:03 am

    ha ha oh lovely, you do make me laugh (thank you for that!) and I really hooted at the Postman Pat bit. But seriously, bravo you for getting out there and getting running… all I can seem to do is motivate myself to sit on the sofa and eat too many biscuits, sigh x

  8. November 13, 2013 / 2:07 pm

    I admire you massively – I am not a runner! And I love that you ran into a lamp post to teach yourself a lesson!

  9. November 13, 2013 / 10:15 pm

    would it be useful if I cycled behind you shouting motivational messages? my charges for this service are reasonable.

  10. November 14, 2013 / 9:55 pm

    You should put a bit of Pendulum on your iPod, that’ll get you running fast 🙂

  11. November 17, 2013 / 9:38 am

    I started the couch to 5k pros me about 12 weeks ago and am nearing the end with the odd break due to big poorly. I have only had two runs in the rain so far and I kind of really enjoyed it. Does that make me odd? I am impressed you are planning to do a marathon! Off to click that link now x

  12. November 17, 2013 / 8:17 pm

    This made me laugh, as a constantly struggling almost-runner! Good luck on your marathon journey, I’ll look forward to reading your progress, and will give a little something after Christmas is out of the way 🙂

  13. November 19, 2013 / 9:56 am

    Proud of you Jane!!! inspiring and hysterical at the same time. Over from Ruth’s tuesday treats

  14. November 19, 2013 / 10:22 am

    Whoop! Whoop! Your training has officially begun…. in the rain and stuff – that’s proper marathon training! And you did a mile – well done you! Laughed out loud at the shuffle choices on your IPOD – I am assuming it was on shuffle, think Eminem would make me livid as well. X

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