I find it hugely irritating when I lose something, which is irrational in itself as I lose many things. The only lost item that didn’t irate me in its passing was when I lost a few stone. The irony in this is it didn’t irritate me when I managed to lose it but unlike my purse which I lost around the same time, the bloody things have turned up again.
Now I have found the stones that I lost I have managed to misplace my waistline. Now that I really miss, like a really good book, you don’t realise how much you misplace your waistline until it goes. I have clothes that used to sit comfortably on my waistline, since I lost it they now act like an elastic band cutting my stomach in half allowing my newly found muffin top to splurge over the sides.
Without my waistline I can no longer reprimand the children as I cannot put my hands on my hips to assume an authorative stance. Instead my hands fold into my tummy as if eaten by jelly, causing uproar from the off spring and making me lose (again) the concept of what I was angry about.
It is a ricochet effect, it seems in losing my waistline I also lost ability to touch my toes, wear fashionable non elasticated clothes and partake in any kind of activity without losing my breathe.
I need to find it, living without it is a bit of an arse.
I think I left a huge chunk of it in the gym the last time I went which was about a year ago. I may have also dropped a bit in my trainers which are out in the shed. I had a euraka moment last night when I thought I had left it in a box of quality streets so I ate the box and dammit it wasn’t in there either.
So please be sensitive when you see me, a round bouncing ball with arms, legs and a head. This curious appearance is not my fault, I just need to re lose the stones that I found again and then find the waistline that I subsequently lost in return.