You know you are a mum when….
….at work you have to sit on your hands to prevent you licking your thumb and wiping biro from a colleagues chin.
…when it is acceptable behaviour to inspect your children for nits whilst queuing to pay for supermarket goods.
…when your idea of a good night out involves being home by eleven.
…you suddenly realise the tune that has been caught in your head all day is in fact the theme tune to The Teletubbies.
…you start seeing children in the street and commenting on how they have grown.
…your recent google search streams are ‘soft play opening hours’ rather than ‘closing time of club’.
… human excrement is simply a part of everyday life.
…you start looking at nappy bags with the same passion that was once reserved for Mulberry.
…you snap at fully grown men to stop sniffing and blow their nose.
…sex is passed over in favour of sleep.
…peeing with an audience is not a sexually deviant act.
…you whoop with excitement at two for one on nappies and wipes.
…a muslin is counted as a fashion accessory.
…your family holiday costs more than a small bungalow.
…you feel an urge to learn baby sign.
…singing nursery rhymes in public whilst sober isn’t embarrassing.
…you call your own mum for advice.
Feel free to add your own….