I am not completely sure about Father’s Day, it seems like Valentines Day except rather than driving sales to florists and champagne sellers it drives activity towards slippers and golf ball stockists.
The children’s school is clearly in agreement with me. On Mothers day they sent the kids home with an inordinate amount of crap, some self coloured cards (which could have been the reason Clintons went under), some home made bath salts which as a side effect turn your skin an amusing shade of blue, and some pictures drawn by one’s offsprings. All of these gifts ensured that he who helped create them had it covered without lifting a finger.
However for the momentous event that is Father’s Day the school decided not to intervene.
It was not until Friday that I discovered this little fact when I dug around in their school bags looking for anything with the popular phrase “Happy Father’s Day” on it. After tipping the bags on the floor, wailing with despair and cracking open the wine I realised desperate action needed to be taken; and the next day my hangover and I took the children to my own worse nightmare….
The craft store.
Several arguments, hours and one gluing of hands to the table incident later and we produced these beauties….
To me this was present enough, knowing the time, effort and yelling that had gone into creating these masterpieces that even my friend Maggie would be proud of, I felt my role in the fathers day debacle was complete.
But no…
Twin Boy wouldn’t rest, he kept reminding me about the sodding bath salts I was given for Mother’s Day, and insisted it would be wrong to not generate a present of some description…
I considered home made shaving foam but we were out of whipped cream. I played with the idea of wrapping up an empty box and telling him it was full of love, however when I presented this idea to the kids they looked at me like I was full of sh%t.
So 6pm Saturday night found me fighting in Tesco’s with other mothers who had been let down by their local educational institute we were all desperately trying to get the last “I love Daddy” mug and the much sought after “monster feet” slippers.
I secured the mug but had to walk away from the slippers as I came up against a women with tantruming toddler twins who looked like the shock of fathers day arriving so quickly this year could be the final nail in her coffin.
As I walked away I saw her hug the slippers to her chest and heard her muttering “you can share a present, Daddy doesn’t need two.”. As her children continued to beat each other with hefty breadsticks she raised her arms to the strip lighting roof and cried ” God damn you Nursery; why have you forsaken me..”
Feeling her pain and knowing I could do no good except show her the future I walked away leaving her rocking in the mens footwear aisle.
I got he who helped create them some cheese and port; there is no way he can finish it before it goes out of date without a dedicated helper….
Bring on Mother’s Day, I am almost out of bath salts….
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Sincerely, I really do hear you… Nothing from school, so I was in Waitrose at 6pm on Saturday night. Buying Men’s Health, G & B Dark Chocolate, some eye cream, chocolate pudding and double cream (low fat) and socks. It was an eclectic combo, but appreciated. Only problem is that the card is still in the wrapping because we had to be at a swimming lesson for 8am on Sunday. Never mind. I got it half right.
Half right is better than nowt!
Oh you never fail me! I have cunningly developed a tradition for Father’s Day, which the kids remind me of religiously, every year. Pic ‘n mix – it’s all he needs.
Nice!
HAHAHAHAHAHA yup.
same problem?
WHY do none of the schools do anything for Father’s Day? Sodding conspiracy it is. I swear the teachers watch the school pick up on pre-FD-Friday with barely contained glee…
humph
Beer, three bottles of real ale, from three offspring – #that is all
You are clearly the brains of the operation…
Have written a sharp note to nursery in respect of lack of fathers day card. Are they making some political comment on the role of fathers? Do female teaching staff hate men? Should the government be addressing this?
You should have told the twin mum in men’s foot wear aside to start a blog. Here it’s rather stabilising.
Btw you are on fire.
Why thanks madame x
I am proud! I am
)))))
LOL!!!! X
It’s so true! I hadn’t really thought about it…but yes, my kids school had a full on afternoon tea with scones and cards with poems etc for Mother’s day, but zilch for Father’s Day. There are some children who don’t see their Dad’s so I’m guessing it’s not to upset them.
Your cards look brilliant though. Put me to shame!
Sod that, I work bloody hard to stay married and school should help by making naff stuff to give him!
Thanks for crafty compliment! X
But us mums need spoiling more than the dads
Though seriously the subject of her absent dad can make my 8 year old turn into a screaming banshee so I’m glad she had no idea it was father’s day!
Ooowfff you did well – I had strict instructions not to get anything – so I didn’t but the kids did make something with school and pre-school so I guess OH was one of the lucky ones. Now I have glitter and googly eyes everywhere on the carpet – how long do the cards have to stay up before I can hoover up the mess?
about a day….
Like your style. I got the NLM the Hairy Bikers’ pie recipe book. I love a pie. And now he has all that’s needed to cook me one. Lovely!
yes we would love to come for pie and chips…
He he, cheese and wine party anyone? Love the cards by the way
thanks x x
Now you come to mention it, the same is true of our nursery. I didn’t notice, I had is covered (sorry to gloat!) I saw a local Groupon for a family picture and he’d been saying he wanted to get another one now that Littleist had been born, so naturally, I used his money to purchase exactly what he wanted. Lovely amn’t I?
eee lass that is wise!
We did do Fathers Day this year …. but what a blinkin rigmarole. But him a cookbook and some coffee, and we had pancakes …. this parents day thing is starting to become like another birthday. From now on I think a card and a take away will do.
Very wise!
I think we must have had your share of FD cards here. One from nursery, 3 from school, 2 from craft club and 2 from Brownies. So basically 2 card per child- DH looked a little worried when he totted them up.
I am immensely jealous now….
I think you’ve hit upon something here – the majority of primary school teachers are women !!!!
Good point!
It’s exactly the same here in Germany: no Father’s day present made at school. Thank goodness mine are old enough now to sort it out themselves!
You must have been impressed with my cards…. Schools should hire me!