Its gone, I mean it has really gone.
Losing my libido was bad enough but at some point in the last few months my dignity and dress sense have started an affair and finally they have run off into the sunset together.
I first started to suspect that my dignity was playing away when I realised that getting the occasional smear of baby poo on my wrist whilst changing a nappy no longer caused me to hiccup vomit in my mouth. Then my worries heightened when I realised I was rocking up on the school run dressed in the other half’s rain jacket, hair wild with lack of loving from a comb and even my daughter took to standing politely two feet away.
Dignity was finally confirmed as being well and truly lost when I found myself happily singing loudly to BB in Tescos and a chap visibly yanked his child out of my path muttering something about staying clear of the crazy lady with the mad hair.
I am not surprised at my dress sense, it is not the first time she has done a runner. She first did a bunk in my teens leaving me with only a Nirvana t-shirt, a gypsy style skirt and a black eyeliner to live in for a few years. She came skulking back when I got a “proper” job and for a brief spell I frequented Whistles and Karen Miller. Then she became a hindrance, maxing out my credit card to the extreme without ever looking bashful.
Since the kids came along and Whistles is now a memory and an oral tune she has gone again, her departure was confirmed by the fact that I strolled to work today in ankle boots which matched my suit in the same way that red compliments green. My excuse? They were comfy…
So that’s it, I am a shadow of my former self, no libido, no dress sense and no sense of caring as my dignity is gone.
However my appetite seems to be bound to me for life!
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