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Losing my dignity: Aw feck…

Its gone, I mean it has really gone.


Losing my libido was bad enough but at some point in the last few months my dignity and dress sense have started an affair and finally they have run off into the sunset together.


I first started to suspect that my dignity was playing away when I realised that getting the occasional smear of baby poo on my wrist whilst changing a nappy no longer caused me to hiccup vomit in my mouth.  Then my worries heightened when I realised I was rocking up on the school run dressed in the other half’s rain jacket, hair wild with lack of loving from a comb and even my daughter took to standing politely two feet away.


Dignity was finally confirmed as being well and truly lost when I found myself happily singing loudly to BB in Tescos and a chap visibly yanked his child out of my path muttering something about staying clear of the crazy lady with the mad hair.


I am not surprised at my dress sense, it is not the first time she has done a runner.  She first did a bunk in my teens leaving me with only a Nirvana t-shirt, a gypsy style skirt and a black eyeliner to live in for a few years.  She came skulking back when I got a “proper” job and for a brief spell I frequented Whistles and Karen Miller.  Then she became a hindrance, maxing out my credit card to the extreme without ever looking bashful.


Since the kids came along and Whistles is now a memory and an oral tune she has gone again, her departure was confirmed by the fact that I strolled to work today in ankle boots which matched my suit in the same way that red compliments green.  My excuse? They were comfy…


So that’s it, I am a shadow of my former self, no libido, no dress sense and no sense of caring as my dignity is gone.


However my appetite seems to be bound to me for life!

Aw, feck


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  1. There’s NOTHING wrong with black eyeliner. Is there? And as for poo under the fingernails, happens every day here and doesn’t seem to dampen my appetite either!

  2. Oh dear, oh dear. This is wider spread than I thought. Libido? Isn’t that something to do with Christmas and Birthdays??

  3. If it’s any consolation, I think I prefer the non-Whistles you. It makes the current Primark me feel far less intimidated…

  4. Ahhhh Karen Millen. My K M now brandishes a nice Baby Z food stain on it. I sometimes try to scrape it off if I get a spare millisecond. These days if its washed and relatively dry I will wear it. Hurrah for the loyal appetite though. A woman’s best friend I think!

  5. Anne-marie Frano says:

    I remember u spending the summer at camp with those stinky shoes… And u didn’t shave uour legs all summer!!! Cant believe we became friends! I did feel bad for u :)

  6. *packs comb and some make-up* *plans to sort out Northern mum prior to being seen with her at future social events*
    Karen MillEN – what am I going to do with you – there is no hope…..

  7. No listen, sweetheart, you get yourself over to me and I’ll get the school-gate mums to give o a leopard print makeover. Not sure they’ll be able to help with the libido, but I deem that one of the blessings of middle age. So much more time and energy for ironing!

  8. Oh yes … I must confess … I have lost my libido, my ability ot control my emotions and everything else that seems to come with being a mum. Went to try some clothes on today. What a disaster – my boobs made every top I tried on look very uneasy on the eye and lob sidded. My apetite still very good and eating all the wrong things!

  9. Libido, Karen millan, whistles? Are you talking in a foreign language missus? ;0)

  10. Ah, I’m sorry for your loss. It’s such a hard thing to come to terms with. I still can’t forget those days when my bra matched my knickers, my shoes matched my clothes (god yeah, I used to wear shoes – not trainers!) and I used to put make-up on. Oh those crazy, heady days, how I miss you. I’m just so old and comfortable now :(

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