It’s a bloody Nightmare……

I have issues,

I know I have a little bit of ocd but was unaware of how much it defined me with my children.

I like things away and tidy, I like my wardrobe to be ordered and my shoes in pairs in boxes.  I like sets to be matching, I like toys with all their bits attached.

I dislike mess and chaos…


Twin girl bounced in from school today ran upstairs to grab some toys and whooped in delight when she saw I had tidied her room and moved her toys around.

Leaping down the stairs I heard her call;

“Mummy I love my room but where’s my Barbie box.”

With a playful edge to my voice I shouted back;

“Oh poppet you are too big for Barbie’s I threw them away.”

Clearly I forgot it was thursday and the tiredness of school is starting to kick in and twin girls sense of humour tends to disappear till the weekend.

He who helped create them dialled Childlines number and twin girl sobbed into the phone whilst I scrambled in the toy cupboard for the Barbie box and so I could prove my guilt as a great big liar but not a destroyer of plastic surgically enhanced women.

Ten minutes later after checking the contents of the box carefully and being reassured all that all her dolls were intact twin girl turned to me wiping away the tears and invited me to play weddings.

Pouring myself a large G and T (I like to immerse myself in the game fully) and putting on my best hat I sat on the floor to join celebrating the wedding of Prince Charming to brown-haired Barbie.

Twin girl started to unload the other guests from the box and then paused and turned to me.

“Mummy don’t get upset, its ok but I changed their clothes…”

Look at the sight that greeted me.

Barbies gone Mad

Look closely.

Bloody Snow White has raided Aurora’s wardrobe.  Some blonde chick is masquerading as Pocahontas, Belle has gone missing but Barbie has her frock on.  God only knows what the Beast will do when he finds out.

It’s an ocd nightmare!

I doubled the gin…


Just realised that it is Pocahontas who has left her traditional ethic style for a meringue style gown.  The Indian Chief is going to flip a lid when he finds out.

And she’s not supposed to marry Prince Charming…

Best keep Cinders away from the reception she’s a nightmare when she’s had a few.

**By the way my little blog has been shortlisted in the MAD blog Awards; I am really flattered, if you want to help me win please click on this voting link and enter your name and email and my blog has been shortlisted in Best Mad Blog about Family life (the first one); just click ‘northern mum’   – Thanks from me, twin boy, twin girl, BB, and he who helped create them x x x


  1. May 26, 2011 / 4:24 pm

    Oh bless, never ever joke about such serious manners.

    My mother was so similar to yours, except she really would have thrown out the Barbie box!

    Enjoy the gin!

  2. May 26, 2011 / 4:51 pm

    I’d love to know the ending to this fairy tale!

    • May 26, 2011 / 5:29 pm

      It was shameful,

      Twin boy returned home and found Cinders in a compromising position with Woody in the Toy Story box. Jessie flew off the handle and Cinders tried to pass it off as a friendly encounter but it wasn’t helped by the fact she was naked as some bimbo had nicked her frock for the do.

      Off she went in search of said frock and instead stumbled upon Pocahontas pledging eternal love to her fella.

      Lobbing her wine bottle (as she couldn’t locate a glass slipper) towards Charming’s head she launched at Pocahontas ninja style.

      Aurora had inadvertently nodded off in the aisle and caused Cinders to trip so her karate kick became misaimed and caught Snow White in the eye.

      Then all carnage let lose. Seven midgets ran into the church, faces all black from the mines, clutching their pickaxes they set upon anyone in their way.

      In the midst of the madness Pocohantas’s Dad rocked up and went off on one about his daughter marrying a Prince not from the tribe. Then Tiana got involved calling him a racist and telling him a long old yarn about how she used to be racist but now lived happily with a frog. Spurred on by a little too much pimms Belle joined in and started singing “Ebony and Ivory.”

      Finally the twin boy calmed the storm by taking the lid off the toy story soldiers who set about their mission with disdain. They could be heard to mutter that they weren’t been taken seriously as the country’s guardians and weren’t designed to sort out pissed princesses and tribal wars.

      However I am pleased to report that when all back in their boxes and everything was back just so, we and they, lived happily ever after.

      Especially Prince Charming in his new polygamous lifestyle with two sets of falseys to play with. Woody looked on with jealous eyes as featureless Jessie clung onto him for dear life.

  3. May 26, 2011 / 4:54 pm

    After reading this post I fear I am fighting a losing battle. Frog’s toys are slowly and surely taking over the ENTIRE HOUSE…to the point where I found a rattle in my bed the other night and ended up with a duplo block up my bum after sitting on the sofa. The joy that awaits me when she discovers Barbies…*sigh*

    • May 26, 2011 / 5:41 pm

      After sitting on the sofa eh? A likely story eh NLM?

        • May 26, 2011 / 7:39 pm

          I knew NLM in a former life! And his love of duplo…

  4. May 26, 2011 / 5:34 pm

    Hilarious. And I don’t feel so bad now when I find Legos in the baby carriage…

  5. May 26, 2011 / 6:52 pm

    After spending an afternoon categorising toy boxes in the lounge for Little Tiger toys – a box for cars, farm etc… I’m glad I’m not the only OCD mum – but am a little worried that I was getting stressed out that robots were invaiding the farm as they should be in the space box and not the far box.

    • May 26, 2011 / 7:40 pm

      Ooh I feel your stress! Out robots, out robots…

  6. May 26, 2011 / 7:47 pm

    I cannot wait for my daughter to grow out of Barbie and Princess dolls. Its driving me insane with the tiny mis matched shoes that get sucked up by the hoover……and I really hate her Tangled doll, the hair is already matted and ratted and no longer resemble golden locks you can pull a brush through grrrrrrrrrrrr. I can now see why my brother was so happy to pass on his daughters old Barbies to my daughter (punishment for a former childhood misdeed)

    • May 26, 2011 / 8:09 pm

      That Tangled doll os a bloody huge waste of money – ours matted on day one!

      i have even tried washing it!

      doesnt work – makes it worse!

  7. Tracy Topham
    May 26, 2011 / 7:56 pm

    First time I’ve commented on your blog, but really felt that this time I had to.

    My eldest has a great love of lego. Now, I love lego, but I like it to stay in the set with which it purchased. Eldest has his own ideas and, much to my complete despair, actually has enough imagination to mix up the pieces and create his own “spaceships” and “vehicles”.

    This is an OCD nightmare!! Believe me when I say I have actually spent a whole day clearing his lego tub, trying desperately to build the sets with their original pieces (having kept all boxes and instructions safely in the loft!!) Needless to say, within half an hour they are back to aforementioned “spaceships” and “vehicles”. I am doomed to live a life of stress from worrying about missing lego pieces. Argh!

    Glad I’m not the only one ;o) xx

    • May 26, 2011 / 8:13 pm

      Oh I am so pleased to have you comment on my blog!

      Our lego is still in the box, it says age 6-12 on it so we wait until he is six!


  8. May 26, 2011 / 8:11 pm

    At least twin girls dolls are dressed! We have a house full of naked dolls…

  9. May 26, 2011 / 8:30 pm

    My hubby is OCD and he gets twitchy at toys everywhere. But he’s had to accept that we actually live in the Babys house with stuff absolutely everywhere including under my pillow, on bedside tables and even in the car!

    • May 26, 2011 / 8:36 pm

      I feel for your husband, may I recommend large quantaties of gin?

  10. Karen
    May 26, 2011 / 8:51 pm

    Glad to know I’m not the only one with organised toy boxes. Woe betide anyone who tidies up and doesn’t put them in the right box! It drives me absolutely bonkers!
    However I’m pleased to report its starting to rub off on my 2 boys aged 5 & 2. They both tidied up recently and managed to get the cars in the car box & the wrestlers in the wrestling tub! Success…now just got to train Daddy

    • May 26, 2011 / 9:22 pm

      Hmmm good luck with that one!

      My two are also getting OCD as well – we will all be in the looney bin soon!

  11. May 26, 2011 / 8:53 pm

    Oh the Barbie box! We have a very strange thing going on here which leaves me with an unpleasant feeling. You see recently all the barbie dolls have taken to becoming nudists. Just yesterday though I walked through the lounge to the scary sight of two headless barbie bodies lying on the floor. Are they forming a sadistic cult?? I always had my suspicions about those singing camp rock dolls who joined the ranks at Christmas…there’s just something about their high pitched songs!

    Ps”loved your reply comment! Rofl”

    • May 26, 2011 / 9:23 pm

      Barbies do scare me i find them naked with their perfect bodies smiling at me with my cellulite and floppy bits!

  12. May 26, 2011 / 10:00 pm

    I love that your daughter accepts your ocd “Mummy don’t get upset, its ok but I changed their clothes…” Hilarious!

    Im off to vote. I love your writing.

  13. May 26, 2011 / 10:04 pm

    You do make me laugh – me thinks you might be into Barbie just as much as twin girl!! Hope you have enjoyed your evening re-dressing them all 😉

  14. May 26, 2011 / 10:12 pm

    Greetings from your arch nemesis 😉 I am so bad at tidying. I use the excuse that organising their toys stifles their creativity. Still takes me a few gins to relax amid the chaos though!
    Great post, giggled at the gin bit most.

    • May 27, 2011 / 5:46 am

      I didn’t say I was good at tidying… I just like it tidy x

  15. Rachel
    May 26, 2011 / 10:50 pm

    OCD isn’t ‘loony’.
    It’s a devastating anxiety disorder that can affect anyone.
    It isn’t about just liking things a certain way – even immensely so.
    It’s a compulsion. People with OCD don’t just prefer things a certain way, they are compelled to have them that way at all costs.
    It’s condition that can devastate lives. Not least because sufferers can feel so terribly isolated because others often show little understanding and may fear or avoid them.

    No Panic is a fabulous organisation that offers help and support to people with OCD in the UK, Eire and France (in addition to those with Anxiety/Panic Disorders and a range of phobias). Its website is a bit basic in design but this is an award winning charity with a proven track record in supporting and educating people in this area.
    Here’s a more detailed discussion of OCD on the NHS website

    I know your comments are intended as just a giggle and I’ll admit I’m worried about posting this comment for fear of being told to lighten up,
    but please understand that for very many people OCD is a crippling condition and far from a joking matter.

    You wouldn’t joke about cancer, so why OCD?

    • May 27, 2011 / 7:38 am

      Hi Rachel,

      Thanks for your comment, you are right my post is purely meant to be light hearted at my own expense and certainly not intended offensive to people who suffer with OCD.

      Thanks for raising awareness over here.

      and no I wouldnt joke about cancer but I wouldn’t consider this a joke post about OCD it is just about the idiosyncrasies of me and my brood.

      Jane x

  16. May 27, 2011 / 12:12 pm

    being someone with mild ocd myself – this made me laugh out loud, pretty much all the way through…

    • May 27, 2011 / 12:35 pm

      Good! Laughing is food for the soul apparantly!

  17. May 28, 2011 / 5:14 pm

    Having spent the last six years trying to train Father Badger to put things away in the right place (as opposed to somewhere they can’t be seen), I’ve been desensitised enough to cope with the impending chaos that Baby Badger is due to wreak. I hope…

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