The mummy blogging world is a unique alternate dimension to visit, full of diverse interesting parents you can encounter a range of blogs from the hilarious to the sombre. Some will be well written others look like a child wrote them and in some cases that can also be the truth.
If you choose to join this world as blogger then check out my hints below for ways to increase your status in the community and ways to increase traffic to your blog.
But firstly let me reassure you its not about the page views, unique stats, volume of comments or number of subscribers, you should write for pleasure not to be read.
Now let me uncross my fingers and tell anyone who has bothered to read this far how to get those crucial numbers up.
1. Be a parent, or at least be pregnant or trying to conceive; if not your blog may seem a little out of sorts in the mummy blogging world.
2. Give up the day job or become an insomniac, mummy blogging is all consuming. If you don’t have childcare then get it or at least find a drawer you can keep the kids in.
3. Give us your life story, warts an all. And whilst I don’t wish to put misery upon you there is nothing that goes down a storm on a blog that a bit of bad news. Keep your readers engaged though, leave Eastenders style cliff hangers, but don’t forget the happy ending.
4. Take at least 3 hours a day to read other blogs; (again see point 2) ensure you comment intelligently as I find ‘great blog’ often ends up in a spam list along with recommendations for penis enlargers.
5. Take time to understand social networking; twitter is no longer something birds do. Digg seems to have feck all to do with spades and stumbleupon is nowt to do with falling over. Again after 6 months on the blogging circuit I can tell you I am miles away from understanding digging and fallingover but then you know I write only for pleasure not for numbers.
*uncrosses fingers once more*
6. Use your kids to make good content; after the hell of pregnancy and labour they owe you something. I deliberately un potty trained twin boy (easier than you think) when I started blogging so I could regale the world with tales of inappropriate pooing incidents.
7. When all inspiration leaves you have a good old rant about your other half. I must warn you a consequence of this is divorce but again refer to point 3, those numbers will zoom.
8. Learn to speak twit language; this will help when promoting your blog on twitter, commenting on blogs and as an added bonus speaking to your teenagers. Also to save you any embarrassment later – lol does not mean lots of love. This recent discovery upset me lately as where I thought I was adored it turns out people are actually laughing at me.
9. Spend 2 hours a day minimum dancing on blog hops, taking photos for a sunday and wednesday and then 2 more hours a day commenting on everyone else’s hopping and picture taking.
10. Sell your soul to a PR agency, they give you free stuff and if you choose to give up your job over work that free stuff will go down a storm on Ebay.
11. Finally check your stats hourly if not more frequently because that really helps them go higher.
Please any other hints leave them below but don’t feel obliged I am just happy you popped by and read. In fact I am just happy I wrote this post, I may not even publish…
and if you can get a cup of coffee in between all that you’re doing well 🙂
Oh I think you have it all covered there pretty much!
When i started this Jane I thought ‘oh no not another post about how to blog’ then I realised it was your own particular brand of ascerbic wit and I relaxed and very much enjoyed it. The only thing I’d add is you must spend at least a day a month getting depressed about your comment to post ratio and try if you can to get involved in the standard mummy blogger bust ups. Just for fun.
Don’t worry about me babe! I learned from the queen x x x x
No one else tells it like you do. Perfect!! X
I’m gonna have to hire a cleaner & chef if I want to continue with this blogging malarky!!!
i like your thinking, dedicated to the art
I always think about blogging and never do! If ever I get there I will be finding a drawer for baby pronto! 🙂
Again, use a drawer with soft things in, no knifes ok!
Just to add to number 5. Anytime you spend outside of commenting on others’ blogs and working on your own should be spent giving a minute by minute report of your life on Twitter. Followers will then know you are an interesting person and are more likely to visit your blog.
On a serious note, it took me weeks to realise that my in-laws were not trying to see the humour in life when they signed off text messages and emails with “LOL”.
now that is lol
As a new Blogger I have taken note of your ways to blog and get more followers.
I am now trying very hard to find an empty draw!!
It doesn’t have to be empty, sock drawer would work. Avoid drawers containing knifes social services frown upon that
Thanks for the heads up! Might be able to find one yet…
and I thought that was just me…
Thanks for the tips. Just been blogging a couple of months – and still learning.
All I would ask is how do you get more people to comment on your own blogs?
I seem to comment on a handful of others, but then few people seem to be coming back to read what I’ve written…?
I think you highlight my main problem with it all – how on earth can I find the time to keep my blog fresh? Pesky baby demands so much of my attention (for anyone with challenged sense of humour, that was a joke…)!
hmmmmm, dials social services: badger abandons child for blogging….
Very good. Also make sure you have a notebook and camera with you at all times, in case a blog idea or photo opportunity presents itself.
I love number 6! Too right!
Lol! Notebook good point. I almostcrashed trying to type whilst driving; writing may be easier?
Ah-ha but you’ve forgotten the ‘lists’. How to wait with baited breath for days until they are published and then having to skulk off and whip yourself with birch twigs because you’ve slipped down the rankings since the previous month…
Other than that, you’ve nailed it.
I can’t even mention the lists! I remain so high up in the hundreds that its funny in itself! However I really don’t care, I just love to write. *lies through teeth*
Love this! Although not quite come to terms with Twitter and the like yet – feel like my Dad suddenly thrown into a world of youngsters talking a language I can’t quite understand….I’m sure I’ll get there…
xx
Let me help; your comment made me rofl and if I re read it it may make me pmsl. Wtf am I on about? Good luck twittering x
follow people, talk to them, job done x
Ha! Confirmation that I haven’t possibly got time to blog – how on earth do you Supermums keep up with Neighbours, Grey’s, ANTM, Blue Bloods, Glee, OBEM, The Event, Eastenders….(I’m a crappy TV-obsessed mum!)?
tv? mine has been stuck on cbeebies for 5 years
Brilliant and all bloody true. xxx
hey i try!
am commenting ……like the ebay freestuff tip
am replying; glad you like
Just managed to squeeze you in to my 3 hour reading/commenting slot. Off to bake the baby and bath some cookies next. Will write something before bed and then get up halfway through the night to check my stats. OH will hate that and we’ll have a row, then I can write a post about it. FAB! Thanks for the advice, think I’ve got it now 😀
great content – love it
Hee hee, love it! Popped over from Its a Mummys Life. Good reminder that this is all insane really.
totally, completly and utterly
Hahaha, nice one, that got my morning off to a good start with a giggle! I’ve been trying to explain said rules to hubby but he still thinks I’m slightly mad, but then, what does he know, he refuses to even use Facebook! Like the tip about rechecking your stats, and comment re those bloody lists – I keep feeling like they are like school report cards “must try harder!” grr, sigh, gives up (lol) xxx
i know! this is supposed to be a hobby!
Perhaps a couple more ideas :
As a Daddy blogger in a Mummny blogger world, I should pretend to be a mummy blogger to be socially accepted ? Not sure the kids would be impressed though !
Once written a blog should be previewed 10 times to make sure the spacing looks nice, that’s got to make more people visit and those stats soar, right ?
John
RJRDaydreamer
Oh yes I forgot that one – spacing is very important!
Ssso so so painfully true x
Oh and don’t forget the competitions you must run to increase stats.
Run a competition where the prize is worth £1.99, but to enter mums/dads must give up their anonymity and sell their soul to the devil – no harm, you sold your soul to the PR agency to get the prizes in the first place – eh! Then , because your fellow mummy bloggers are not only desperate to win this coveted prize but also deaf, make sure you shout about it gazillions of times, on every medium that you can. Then make the mums wait a month, by which time their baby no longer needs the prize, and announce that they are now the proud owner of a dummy. Who’s the dummy? LOL….
Oh how I love competitions NOT!
funny stuff!
so are you running any decent competitions????
x
Don’t forget to make the rules to said competition as complicated as possible!
Oh yes! Seven RTs, plus a follow and a like all to be done whilst rubbing your tummy
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Hell nnnnnnoooooooooo
x
oh go on I have some junk we could pass off as vintage? baby toys, rattles? it will draw traffic – your stats will zoom like tommy and his dog!
x
Oh good tips! Also I am so pleased to find another Mummy with twins! Mine are 18 months now and it is lovely but hard work! Shall be picking your brains from now on!
twins eh, you will need a bigger box to keep them in, i have sent mine off to school now so I will post you mine out….
Priceless advice. I hadn’t thought of untraining the sort-of-potty-trained one. I might take that up. So with you on the photo taking too 😉
Oh goodness I almost forgot it tuesday; i need to take a picture for wednesday….
I too only blog for pleasure and only comment on truly brilliant blogs *uncrosses fingers*
🙂
Seriously, tho, great go here. You’ve pretty much got it down pat, head to the front of the line in Wikio, miss.
lol x
Fantastic hehe! Yes, it would seem that some don’t quite understand that good blogging is about quality and not quantity! Love your blog x
thanks x x
Hehehe… my best days are when my “stats go down” and I have to do something else for the day!!! Love it!
This is so true. Especially the thing about becoming an insomniac. My baby started sleeping through the night at around the same time my blog was born. I now have less sleep than when she was still waking for night feeds. Damn.
your post is fab!
this blogging m’larkey is worrying
Hi Jane. Thought you’d like this post on Molly’s blog, where we were considering setting up a support group for blog addiction 😉 http://mothersalwaysright.wordpress.com/2011/03/20/how-to-be-a-socially-inept-idiot/#comment-279
Love it love it love it – thanks
OMG I’m new to this blogging malarkey and thought it would be a great idea to fill some time that I don’t really have…. but now I’m scared!!! Let me see if I’ve got this right…..
Start a blog for fun………..check
Update with fun anectdotes or life crisis issues……..OK
Put kids in a drawer…………………OK but mine are 10 and 12 so have resorted to the shed!
Become an insomniac………………….already there
Get oldest son to teach me a crash course on Twit, txt and Facebook language……………………..will get him back out of the shed!!!
Oh and sell my soul to the Devil……………………………
Thanks your advice has been invaluable and I’n hoping to be able to tick all the appropriate boxes soon. Love it!
always pleased to help!
Hi – Blog hops seem a good idea. I’ve joined in a couple over the last few days but although there aren’t international boundaries (as long as no one expects me to write mom) I would like to know of some uk mummy blog hops. I often to Ella’s Friday Carnival at http://notesfromhome.com but would like to know of others.
Thanks Milly (southoftherivermum)
ps you might need to explain lol to me further (I’m new to this!)
ella’s carnival is a great place to stop by.
in fact you may say i inspired her forthcoming carnival of poo….
Hi there – sorry to butt in… I did an article not long ago on BMB about just this subject, it’s quite a list! Here you go
http://www.bmbblog.co.uk/2011/03/15-of-the-best-parent-blogging-carnivals-and-memes-.html
Brilliant!
Ha brilliant 🙂 I started my blog about 2 weeks before you published this first. Had I read it then I may have had second thoughts!!!